This is a month of restoration for myself and for many people I know around me right now. I think of where I was one year ago with its specific circumstances and it bring me to my knees and many tears in my eyes.
The beauty of restoration? Out of great brokenness and pain and shame comes something beautiful and NEW. It is not a piece of pottery badly glued back together; it is a completely new pot; a wholesome offering, a new heart. Regenerated. Renewed. Revived.
"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." Is. 43:19
------------------------------------------------------------
"You bring restoration
You bring restoration
You bring restoration
to my soul
You've taken my pain
You call me by a new name,
You've taken my shame
And in its place You give me joy
You take my mourning
turn it into dancing,
You take my weeping
turn it into laughing,
You take my mourning
turn it into dancing,
You take my sadness
turn into joy
Halleleujah!
Halleleujah!
You make all things new
You make all things new. "
Friday, November 12, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Tchaikovskian Thoughts
The two reasons why my posting is titled as such are due to: 1. the fact that I am listening to Track 2 of the Tchaikovsky album on my iTunes to which I do not know the name of, and 2.the concept of an alliteration was aesthetically appealing to me in my aimless aspirations as of this moment. Needless to say, this post will certainly not be about the life of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky (which I had to look up to spell correctly) nor how his music has dramatically changed my life, although I'd like to sit here to ponder and discuss his interesting name and how I like the "chai" portion of his last name.
I do not really know why I am posting right now, but I think it is because I was just on a fellow sister's blog, reading her update on her life and consequently feeling convicted for not updating mine. I am also secretly hoping that my brilliant writing skills will start kicking in at any minute, since my creative juices start ebbing and flowing around this time of the day--err, morning/late, late night. At this point, I do not think it is going to happen, and unfortunately, this blog will be very informal, conversational, and possibly off-tangent with a hint of sarcasm. I do apologize beforehand since this is really not my usual writing style but I am throwing all caution to the wind at this point and wanting to share portions of my heart.
RA training starts in about a week and school will begin in about 3 weeks from now. We will be moving dorms for the third time this summer and hall decorating frenzy will begin! I will need to order books as soon as possible and wipe the dust from old boks on my bookshelf so I may review them in preparation for my upcoming sciences. I will enter my junior year as a Biology major and double minor. My college career is half over--wow! These past few weeks have been a blur and even today has been significant, in which I found out that my best friend will soon be getting engaged and tying the knot next summer. Battles were fought and won, prayers were uttered staring at the great expanse of sky sprinkled with twinkling lights, bananablueberry muffins were ruined, an iPad was synced, and a trip to an ethnic part of town brought great joy, discovery, and new friends. Yesterday was the gathering of an Arabian-themed bridal shower with the anticipation of a covenant made next weekend; tomorrow will be sweet fellowship at church and boba tea and Indian food. All of these events somehow signify the strands in my life that the Lord is weaving together into a beautiful pattern and my eyes are being opened to the beauty of it all, regardless of the confusion or chaos or senselessness.
I am learning to celebrate each season as it comes.
Growing up constantly moving, change was always drastic and painful and it has only been recently that I have come to see it in a different light. In fact, I am viewing many things in a different light as I have become a different person. Within these past 2-3 months, the Potter has taken the clay and done some reshaping. Progressive sanctification is happening and I am left humbled and in awe of the changes. I am certainly not the only one as I look around and see it in my fellow brothers and sisters. Oh, praise Him!
I feel like half a lifetime has been lived out these past 2 weeks. Two of my sisters and I went on an adventure last weekend to Enchanted Rock and spent 2.5 days in the wilderness without changing, bathing, washing hands, or wearing makeup. We slept on the ground, heard the call of the wild, and took naps on top of, behind, and beside, monuments. In summary, it was wonderful for it was full of the wonders of Creation (eating cactus and raw corn was interesting!) and the wonders of our own lives, enlightened by the presence of the Creator as the excesses were deleted. We let go of some things in our lives; "Enough to Let Me Go" will be impressed upon my mind and heart for a long time. I am still pondering over the symbolism that weekend was to me. I think back upon the lessons that I learned that did not come to me as I was on the mountaintop; so often we rely on "mountaintop experiences" to sustain us when, in fact, these lessons also come in the valleys or through the canyons, and even on the backseat of an AC-less car stuck in traffic. As mentioned in Psalm 23, He leads us by streams of living water, to lay on green pastures, but also through the valley of shadow of death. There is a time for everything; there are many seasons in life. In all, He makes it beautiful in His time.
I wish I could describe the feeling right now churning within me. Perhaps it is the feeling of a worn traveler who stops at the crossroads of a path he is on and looks ahead and sees the journey that lies before him. He takes one last back and smiles; there is finality to his past and purpose for his future. (In every good movie, this is also the part where the music is a harmonious blend of bittersweetness and anticipation and causes a tangible sting to one's heart.) The pilgrim then hoists up his pack, tightens the straps, squares his shoulder, sets his gaze straight, and walks on toward the sun till his figure disappears from view.
All I know is that I am now in a new season of life and I want to rejoice in it. This summer, I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. I am redeemed, reconciled, and restored. I am ready and refreshed for this new leg of the journey--I wonder what is next!
I do not really know why I am posting right now, but I think it is because I was just on a fellow sister's blog, reading her update on her life and consequently feeling convicted for not updating mine. I am also secretly hoping that my brilliant writing skills will start kicking in at any minute, since my creative juices start ebbing and flowing around this time of the day--err, morning/late, late night. At this point, I do not think it is going to happen, and unfortunately, this blog will be very informal, conversational, and possibly off-tangent with a hint of sarcasm. I do apologize beforehand since this is really not my usual writing style but I am throwing all caution to the wind at this point and wanting to share portions of my heart.
RA training starts in about a week and school will begin in about 3 weeks from now. We will be moving dorms for the third time this summer and hall decorating frenzy will begin! I will need to order books as soon as possible and wipe the dust from old boks on my bookshelf so I may review them in preparation for my upcoming sciences. I will enter my junior year as a Biology major and double minor. My college career is half over--wow! These past few weeks have been a blur and even today has been significant, in which I found out that my best friend will soon be getting engaged and tying the knot next summer. Battles were fought and won, prayers were uttered staring at the great expanse of sky sprinkled with twinkling lights, bananablueberry muffins were ruined, an iPad was synced, and a trip to an ethnic part of town brought great joy, discovery, and new friends. Yesterday was the gathering of an Arabian-themed bridal shower with the anticipation of a covenant made next weekend; tomorrow will be sweet fellowship at church and boba tea and Indian food. All of these events somehow signify the strands in my life that the Lord is weaving together into a beautiful pattern and my eyes are being opened to the beauty of it all, regardless of the confusion or chaos or senselessness.
I am learning to celebrate each season as it comes.
Growing up constantly moving, change was always drastic and painful and it has only been recently that I have come to see it in a different light. In fact, I am viewing many things in a different light as I have become a different person. Within these past 2-3 months, the Potter has taken the clay and done some reshaping. Progressive sanctification is happening and I am left humbled and in awe of the changes. I am certainly not the only one as I look around and see it in my fellow brothers and sisters. Oh, praise Him!
I feel like half a lifetime has been lived out these past 2 weeks. Two of my sisters and I went on an adventure last weekend to Enchanted Rock and spent 2.5 days in the wilderness without changing, bathing, washing hands, or wearing makeup. We slept on the ground, heard the call of the wild, and took naps on top of, behind, and beside, monuments. In summary, it was wonderful for it was full of the wonders of Creation (eating cactus and raw corn was interesting!) and the wonders of our own lives, enlightened by the presence of the Creator as the excesses were deleted. We let go of some things in our lives; "Enough to Let Me Go" will be impressed upon my mind and heart for a long time. I am still pondering over the symbolism that weekend was to me. I think back upon the lessons that I learned that did not come to me as I was on the mountaintop; so often we rely on "mountaintop experiences" to sustain us when, in fact, these lessons also come in the valleys or through the canyons, and even on the backseat of an AC-less car stuck in traffic. As mentioned in Psalm 23, He leads us by streams of living water, to lay on green pastures, but also through the valley of shadow of death. There is a time for everything; there are many seasons in life. In all, He makes it beautiful in His time.
I wish I could describe the feeling right now churning within me. Perhaps it is the feeling of a worn traveler who stops at the crossroads of a path he is on and looks ahead and sees the journey that lies before him. He takes one last back and smiles; there is finality to his past and purpose for his future. (In every good movie, this is also the part where the music is a harmonious blend of bittersweetness and anticipation and causes a tangible sting to one's heart.) The pilgrim then hoists up his pack, tightens the straps, squares his shoulder, sets his gaze straight, and walks on toward the sun till his figure disappears from view.
All I know is that I am now in a new season of life and I want to rejoice in it. This summer, I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. I am redeemed, reconciled, and restored. I am ready and refreshed for this new leg of the journey--I wonder what is next!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
A Psalm for Today- "Whatever You're Doing"
http://s0.ilike.com/play#Sanctus+Real:Whatever+You%27re+Doing+(Something+Heavenly):69045431:s26876828.9630967.3788994.0.2.38%2Cstd_5ccd595820864351b2fb70ec7c0a16d4
"It's time for healing, time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender....
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly
Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...
Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly.
It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out."
Ecclesisastes 3 begins with "there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven..."
What season are you in? What do you need to be doing?
"It's time for healing, time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender....
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly
Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...
Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly.
It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out."
Ecclesisastes 3 begins with "there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven..."
What season are you in? What do you need to be doing?
Monday, May 31, 2010
Summer Goals and My Not-So-Secret Garden Dream
Already two weeks into the summer and my life has been full! Each day has brought something new and I can truthfully say that I am genuinely excited about this summer because I know that it will be an adventure. Almost into the month of June and I have sprained my foot, used crutches, went to the podiatrist, and worn a boot, all for the first time! After 6 months of being roomie-less, I am privileged to be sharing a space with a wonderful fellow RA/ sister for three months, and am next door to Joan, a sister of my heart.
I have befriended a lovely Chinese girl two doors down who graciously cooked up a concoction of Chinese noodles and seafood magically in the microwave all for me, and I desire to show her the love of Christ in return. Workdays are workdays and there are moments where I sigh as I daydream of friends who are traveling the globe but I am quite content where I am, knowing that being on campus in Dallas, TX is exactly where I need to be.Wednesdays have been spent swing dancing; Thursdays are trips to Katie's apartment where she conjures feasts for us and we bask in girl-time and chick flicks; and Saturdays are days to go to my Indonesian church and converse with the youth, which has been such a blessing and joy! There is much variety that goes on, and I could expound on impromptu deep conversations, running/singing/dancing in the rain (which was forced to occur one afternoon right after work when it started pouring and a friend and I did not have umbrellas); saying goodbyes to older friends who have just graduated; going to my first Indian church; going to my first indoor snow cone stand with the college group at FB Irving; ISOM; moving dorms, many moments of contemplation, and ETC.
In fact, there are many thoughts that are crowding my mind right now, prodding and shoving their way to the front, and verbs, incorrect tenses, indefinite articles and a diversity of nouns leap from my mind onto the screen in a mob of chaos. Restraining these thoughts is like restraining a crowd of girls upon seeing their favorite actor and I am trying as best I can to organize my thoughts so I can convey them well.
First of all, I would like to share some summer goals that I have, although I am careful not to be overly ambitious. Due to my personality, I need to see these goals as flexible and achieveable or else my mind will either become overwhelmed just at the thought of them and not do it at all or convince myself of failure if I do not achieve a certain standard of action in doing them. My overarching desire and prayer for myself this summer is this: To grow in the knowledge of who the Trinity is and who I am in Him. As an extension to this as I find freedom in my identity in Christ (as I am, daily!) I want to "round myself out," to expand my hobbies, interests, and abilities! I grew up as a proud bookworm and did a bit of tennis growing up, but I did not enjoy the outdoors as I am now. Spending last summer in CO with Hannah and running the half this past semester have fueled a desire to do more outside and to do away with the skin-preserving cautions and sun-avoiding techniques of Asian culture (I am still lavishing quite a bit of sunblock on myself, however, but my skin has become a natural tan due to the excessive melanin in my system--my Mom would be appalled). Therefore, I want to enjoy being under the sun and go hiking around the state park, or Prayer Mountain, or a mountainous region in TX; I want to go mountain biking or just biking in general off-campus around the vicinity; I'd like to improve my sand volleyball skills and learn to be a good Ultimate Frisbee player; I'd like to improve my serving and forehand/backhand techniques. I dream of kayaking with Deanna, knowing how to properly and patiently fish with Irene; and if going through Hunter's Ed with Joan is part of the picture, then I am ecstatic! (The last one is funniest for me--I never thought I would be open to the idea of getting a hunter's license!) I also desire to run, run, run, like my sweet sister Melissa runs, with such obvious joy , at any time of day, at any place, for many miles at a time simply out of a strong desire to worship her Creator more. I pray that my body will become a beautiful temple of the Holy Spirit, not for the sake of evoking man's praise or self-satisfaction, but for the motive that I am fit for the Lord's service, wherever and whatever He wants me to do.
In addition to the physical, I also want to regard the mental and spiritual. I am currently reading 3 books on a regular basis: "Death by Love," "In the Land of Invisible Women," and a Christian Doctrine book along with the Word. I have told some that I want to go on a theological journey to make sure my faith is firm and unknowingly, I have already begun. Spending time in Scripture and constant meditation will be of uttermost importance and I know I need to do more of it. The Lord has started to put a tangible thirst within me and I want more of this Living Water! A few of my brothers have compiled an extensive list for me of sound theological books that they like so I will be feeling my way around that area. My heart has also been burdened for Middle Eastern women and children in countries who have undergone abuse and some time will be spent reading and discussing and researching, and hopefully, maybe even some interaction with refugees in the area.
I also need to get a headstart in the reading for my Fall classes. I am most concerned for Histology and Biochemistry so I am resolving to read those textbooks early as well as peeping back into Organic Chemistry. I've realized that I need to be as equipped as I can be for the calling in my life and because it might be medical missions, I want to be as knowledgeable as I can--that is my responsibility. Lord willing, He will open the doors to med school and wherever it is, whenever it is (I can easily see myself taking time off after college to live abroad and do something else), He will be faithful to see that my calling is fulfilled into "completion".
Anyway, time with my adopted grandparents this weekend have awakened in me two desires: to learn how to cook (well) and to have my own garden one day! I have come to treasure the times in the kitchen I spend with my grandmothers and this past weekend, I learned the art of making cream puffs and custard, banana bread, and blackberry cobbler with home-grown blackberries. I know how to follow recipes, yes, but I want to become inherently familiar with spices and sauces, with creative ways to use leftovers in the fridge, and how to crack an egg with one hand. I am no stranger to setting my stove on fire, on burning things in the microwave, or scorching attempted desserts to render them unedible but I want to change for the sake of becoming a good hostess whenever the occassion arise, or will arise.
Also, as I have voiced to many of my close friends, "when I grow up" (Ha! I technically am right now! I had to be reminded of this just the other day), I would be delighted to have my very own garden and fruit orchard. I've desired to do this since I was in high school and I am determined to see it through, whether that comes in the form of attempting to grow things in my dorm room! I remember how my parents planted all sorts of fruits and vegetables in our yard when we moved back to Indonesia in 2006 and for two years, they watered, pruned, and loved, all seemingly in vain. In fact, when I came back to TX for college, nothing had grown in our yard and I secretly had resigned internally that their efforts were to no avail. I was proven wrong during my visit home during Christmas, though! Coming home from the airport for the first time, i stepped out of the car to see the yard overgrowing in lush greenery and tall banana, mango, and papaya trees. My mom would tell me later that all the plants had flourished and bloomed upon my leaving and yielded such delicious gigantic fruits that the family enjoyed during the season.
Yesterday I saw Grandpa Floyd's garden and ate home-grown yellow squash and onions and today was spent maneuvering in between the thorns of Grandma Judy's blackberry patch. I would like to go blueberry picking sometime this summer and climb apple trees and read under its shade, one day.
I probably will expound more about this garden dream in a later blog, but for now, here is a cool new website that may be my next Google: click here, listen to the intro vid, and try it!
In Christ,
Shel
I have befriended a lovely Chinese girl two doors down who graciously cooked up a concoction of Chinese noodles and seafood magically in the microwave all for me, and I desire to show her the love of Christ in return. Workdays are workdays and there are moments where I sigh as I daydream of friends who are traveling the globe but I am quite content where I am, knowing that being on campus in Dallas, TX is exactly where I need to be.Wednesdays have been spent swing dancing; Thursdays are trips to Katie's apartment where she conjures feasts for us and we bask in girl-time and chick flicks; and Saturdays are days to go to my Indonesian church and converse with the youth, which has been such a blessing and joy! There is much variety that goes on, and I could expound on impromptu deep conversations, running/singing/dancing in the rain (which was forced to occur one afternoon right after work when it started pouring and a friend and I did not have umbrellas); saying goodbyes to older friends who have just graduated; going to my first Indian church; going to my first indoor snow cone stand with the college group at FB Irving; ISOM; moving dorms, many moments of contemplation, and ETC.
In fact, there are many thoughts that are crowding my mind right now, prodding and shoving their way to the front, and verbs, incorrect tenses, indefinite articles and a diversity of nouns leap from my mind onto the screen in a mob of chaos. Restraining these thoughts is like restraining a crowd of girls upon seeing their favorite actor and I am trying as best I can to organize my thoughts so I can convey them well.
First of all, I would like to share some summer goals that I have, although I am careful not to be overly ambitious. Due to my personality, I need to see these goals as flexible and achieveable or else my mind will either become overwhelmed just at the thought of them and not do it at all or convince myself of failure if I do not achieve a certain standard of action in doing them. My overarching desire and prayer for myself this summer is this: To grow in the knowledge of who the Trinity is and who I am in Him. As an extension to this as I find freedom in my identity in Christ (as I am, daily!) I want to "round myself out," to expand my hobbies, interests, and abilities! I grew up as a proud bookworm and did a bit of tennis growing up, but I did not enjoy the outdoors as I am now. Spending last summer in CO with Hannah and running the half this past semester have fueled a desire to do more outside and to do away with the skin-preserving cautions and sun-avoiding techniques of Asian culture (I am still lavishing quite a bit of sunblock on myself, however, but my skin has become a natural tan due to the excessive melanin in my system--my Mom would be appalled). Therefore, I want to enjoy being under the sun and go hiking around the state park, or Prayer Mountain, or a mountainous region in TX; I want to go mountain biking or just biking in general off-campus around the vicinity; I'd like to improve my sand volleyball skills and learn to be a good Ultimate Frisbee player; I'd like to improve my serving and forehand/backhand techniques. I dream of kayaking with Deanna, knowing how to properly and patiently fish with Irene; and if going through Hunter's Ed with Joan is part of the picture, then I am ecstatic! (The last one is funniest for me--I never thought I would be open to the idea of getting a hunter's license!) I also desire to run, run, run, like my sweet sister Melissa runs, with such obvious joy , at any time of day, at any place, for many miles at a time simply out of a strong desire to worship her Creator more. I pray that my body will become a beautiful temple of the Holy Spirit, not for the sake of evoking man's praise or self-satisfaction, but for the motive that I am fit for the Lord's service, wherever and whatever He wants me to do.
In addition to the physical, I also want to regard the mental and spiritual. I am currently reading 3 books on a regular basis: "Death by Love," "In the Land of Invisible Women," and a Christian Doctrine book along with the Word. I have told some that I want to go on a theological journey to make sure my faith is firm and unknowingly, I have already begun. Spending time in Scripture and constant meditation will be of uttermost importance and I know I need to do more of it. The Lord has started to put a tangible thirst within me and I want more of this Living Water! A few of my brothers have compiled an extensive list for me of sound theological books that they like so I will be feeling my way around that area. My heart has also been burdened for Middle Eastern women and children in countries who have undergone abuse and some time will be spent reading and discussing and researching, and hopefully, maybe even some interaction with refugees in the area.
I also need to get a headstart in the reading for my Fall classes. I am most concerned for Histology and Biochemistry so I am resolving to read those textbooks early as well as peeping back into Organic Chemistry. I've realized that I need to be as equipped as I can be for the calling in my life and because it might be medical missions, I want to be as knowledgeable as I can--that is my responsibility. Lord willing, He will open the doors to med school and wherever it is, whenever it is (I can easily see myself taking time off after college to live abroad and do something else), He will be faithful to see that my calling is fulfilled into "completion".
Anyway, time with my adopted grandparents this weekend have awakened in me two desires: to learn how to cook (well) and to have my own garden one day! I have come to treasure the times in the kitchen I spend with my grandmothers and this past weekend, I learned the art of making cream puffs and custard, banana bread, and blackberry cobbler with home-grown blackberries. I know how to follow recipes, yes, but I want to become inherently familiar with spices and sauces, with creative ways to use leftovers in the fridge, and how to crack an egg with one hand. I am no stranger to setting my stove on fire, on burning things in the microwave, or scorching attempted desserts to render them unedible but I want to change for the sake of becoming a good hostess whenever the occassion arise, or will arise.
Also, as I have voiced to many of my close friends, "when I grow up" (Ha! I technically am right now! I had to be reminded of this just the other day), I would be delighted to have my very own garden and fruit orchard. I've desired to do this since I was in high school and I am determined to see it through, whether that comes in the form of attempting to grow things in my dorm room! I remember how my parents planted all sorts of fruits and vegetables in our yard when we moved back to Indonesia in 2006 and for two years, they watered, pruned, and loved, all seemingly in vain. In fact, when I came back to TX for college, nothing had grown in our yard and I secretly had resigned internally that their efforts were to no avail. I was proven wrong during my visit home during Christmas, though! Coming home from the airport for the first time, i stepped out of the car to see the yard overgrowing in lush greenery and tall banana, mango, and papaya trees. My mom would tell me later that all the plants had flourished and bloomed upon my leaving and yielded such delicious gigantic fruits that the family enjoyed during the season.
Yesterday I saw Grandpa Floyd's garden and ate home-grown yellow squash and onions and today was spent maneuvering in between the thorns of Grandma Judy's blackberry patch. I would like to go blueberry picking sometime this summer and climb apple trees and read under its shade, one day.
I probably will expound more about this garden dream in a later blog, but for now, here is a cool new website that may be my next Google: click here, listen to the intro vid, and try it!
In Christ,
Shel
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Random Thoughts, Retrospections, and...Muscular Armpits?
Ahh, I now have a blog.
Well, to be technical about it, I've always had a blog. (Apparently.)
As I was attempting to fill a form to create this, I was taken to a page that said that my account already existed and I needed to reset the password. Surprised, I thought hard and vague memories of going to this website in my early teen years and filling out a similar form came to mind (of course, filling out random forms, taking surveys, and blogging were my only priorities back then, it seems).
To be completely honest, as of 12:07AM this (now) Saturday morning, I am not sure how I feel about having a blog or putting my thoughts onto cyberspace again to be exposed to the public. I once did this on a daily basis; I have many fond recollections of my early Xanga days, which I started in 8th grade and it was a good medium in which to express my thoughts, practice writing well, and correspond to friends in my immediate community and abroad.
Since then, lack of time and energy and will have hindered me from doing so. My beloved Xanga homepage is still there and the seventeen-year-old Syeldy is still preserved in those temporary cyber pages; the experiences, pictures, and growth from the time she was thirteen to seventeen is still there and I feel a mixed-up emotion within me whenever I browse through my thoughts once in awhile.
This is all to say that I do not quite know whether I should be doing this again; all I know is that there is a small desire within me to type out my thoughts as I used to and become vulnerable to the world once again. Maybe this will last, maybe not. All I know is that I am going to finish one blog tonight and post it.
One highlight of many highlights this past week has been this: I sprained my foot! I do not intend to sound as if I am seeking pity nor am I boasting about it: I am simply stating a new occurrence in my life that is somewhat exciting, I have to say. I have never broken a bone or badly sprained a body part in my life and since now I have, it is a new experience to learn from. I had always wondered and strongly desired to use crutches and the Lord has graciously given the desire of my heart. Hurray for developing muscular armpits!
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