"My heart will sing that You are faithful, and my heart will sing Your truth. And my heart burns for You. And my heart is found at home only in You."

WHAT.A.DAY.

Today, Papa answered a major prayer request!

Today, I put a deposit down at for an apt at Vickery Meadows.

I will have a place to move into!

You see, my current apt lease ends this weekend and I didn't begin apt hunting til, oh, 2 weeks ago. It was one of those things that the Lord whispered, "Trust Me." Last night, I was on the phone with a friend and when sharing this prayer request of finding a place to live, he laughed and said, "Oh that's easy, Syeldy! Don't worry, it's going to be easy!" Sure, Chris, sure. Can't you tell how potentially chaotic and frustrating this may be?
But his words haunted me, causing me to think back on what I had read in Exodus 14 before I had called him. In that chapter, the Lord had superseded everything that the Egyptians and Israelites had thought He was capable of. It struck me how it is so easy these days to forget how GIGANTIC our God is because we box and shrink and limit Him due to many reasons.
So I decided to pray Chris' words. I asked Papa to make His will clear for us in which apt we were to live in  by making the process so simple and easy. I asked Him for open doors and smooth processes. I asked the Spirit for overwhelming peace and discernment. And I sensed Him saying, "Go ahead, move forward."

So we went to Vickery Meadows, which is considered one of the most dangerous areas in Dallas but also contains thousands of beautiful refugees from all over the world. There is  a mix of low income-middle income housing, and the streets are filled with internationals walking with plastic bags, to dirty kids playing soccer in unkempt soccer fields, to drug dealers on street corners, homeless people roaming around, and sights, sounds, and smells that highlight the cultural diversity. I love it here because it makes me feel like I'm living overseas again.
I've spent time here in college because I was part of a missions outreach group and it was an awesome to walk the streets and do ministry organically. There is darkness here, but light is penetrating it more and more. It is awe-inspiring to see the transformation.  Many of my friends have lived here and are living here, and they constantly encourage me to be extremely intentional by engaging the nations in living life with them.

But, back to the story: so my brother and I go to the first complex and they tell us flatly that they don't have any apts available to move in for the weekend. Oh, that was easy, God. We definitely can't move here. We then went to a second complex, where the woman who assisted us was so kind, meticulous, and offered us two ready apts for us to check out. whoa! We toured them and liked them, and discovered that there was no admin or application fee. The monthly rent was below budget. Really?! She wanted us back in a few hours to see more apts, so we went to 2-3 more complexes and met some obstacles with each.
(God was seriously answering prayer as He made it more and more evident about which ones we were not supposed to get!)
So we return to the second complex, saw more floor plans and considered all our options. There was overflowing peace in my heart. So we decided to fill out the applications, and within an hour, I was approved. Wow. This was too easy!

[Side note: As all of this apt hunting is happening, I get texts from close friends verifying that 2 of my best guy friends are moving into Vickery in 2 weeks! And I have the option of moving in with a close friend who is also moving in this weekend to an apt right across the street! And friends from church already live all around this area!]

So stay tuned. God is unfurling something grand right now.
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PS.. Article for thought: impossible?

A Snapshot of Last Week

Just eight days ago, I didn't have a place to sleep that night, aside for my car.
Just eight days ago, I didn't know how I was going to pay for my rent with the extra cost of a late payment. I had just enough for the monthly fee, without the additional rent fee.
Just seven days ago, I had no money (absolutely zero cents in my bank account and elsewhere, after paying rent) and no way to get gas to drive to work or to a friend's house for the night.
I didn't have a phone charger, and my outdated-and-partially-reliable cell phone was dead.
I didn't have any food, aside for a few pieces of fruit.
My clothes had needed to be washed for a few days.
I was preparing to go to Kentucky for a medical missions conference that week, but didn't know how I would pay for food or gas for the roadtrip.

What was I going to do?

What I've described above summarizes last week in which the Lord was SO SO good in that He made me completely dependent upon Him for my every single need, every day.

He met me exactly where I was. He showed up in the most unexpected ways.

-A friend who had previously left the hospital agreed for me to spend the night with her (which was close by the hospital) so that I didn't have to sleep in my car. She gave me food, an extremely warm bed, and bathroom privileges that night.
-The Spirit gave me the brilliant idea to stop by a Holiday Inn to ask them for a charger from their lost&found box. Guess what? They gave me one of their many spares. Then, (because I wasn't allowed to charge my phone in the lobby), God prompted me to go to a gas station and ask to charge my phone there. That led to good conversation with the lady behind the counter.
-I wasn't charged the late fee for rent... (WOW.) Because of this, my bank account was zero but my brother had some spare cash, and thus transferred money to me for gas.
-After a frustrating time discovering that I was charged an overdrafting for not overdrafting, I swallowed my humiliation of my bank account and went to the local Chase bank to talk to a local agent. God showed up. The woman I spoke with was a fellow believer, and we got to love, pray, and encourage one another in Christ! Then, she ended up refunding previous Chase fees and gave me a total of $48. I went from -$11 to $38.  WHAT?!? I cried in the bank and in my car. My God is the God who provides.
- After paying for more gas and other expenses, I had a grand total of $15 for the 3-4 days we were going to be in KY. I was excited--I mean, it was $15 more than I thought I would have! Guess what, though? I didn't have to pay a single dime for any of my meals I ate. A couple in our group paid for it all.

-The conference was increedible and so edifying! The Lord refreshed and nurtured my heart. (I was struggling with the question of whether or not I should be in the medical field, having been discouraged and disillusioned in my current job.) He lavished love on me. There were many crazy, supernatural meetings with people. There were many laughs, moments of meditation, learning experiences, worship, and time in His presence. Though I didn't have a "moment of epiphany," the Spirit did make the next step clear to me: I need to finish studying for and take my MCAT.
(Since then, I've had multiple reminders of being obedient and faithful in finishing this task...thank You that you know my procrastination tendencies, God.)


i am a small syeldy.
but I have a really BIG GOD.

Laughter

I have the biggest grin at 2 AM in the morning because Jesus has such a great sense of humor!

It blows me away--it surpasses my finite mind--it is simply "illogical"!

And there is nothing I can do but laugh out loud because it is in moments like these that I acknowledge that God is GOD, and He certainly has many wonderful surprises up His sleeve.

He likes doing the un-ordinary, just because He can.

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This week, I have been thinking and re-learning a few things about relationships. In the 20 hours I've spent in the ER the past two days, I have spent quite a number of them reading some challenging Christian articles about singleness and marriage and godly relationships, be it in the context of a dating relationship or simply lovin' on neighbors.

I had to acknowledge this week that the enemy has led me to believe that I am undesirable/unworthy/inferior in some way. This came up when I had dinner with two of the most godliest guys I know (who not only bought my dinner but entertained, humored, honored, and encouraged me in many ways as brothers in Christ) who simply challenged me when they recognized this lie I had begun believing. In response to these seeds of doubt, Abba also responded to my heart's cry. That night after dinner, as I stopped by a local Walmart to grocery shop, I was unexpectedly complimented by a stranger in the soap & shampoo aisle. I was quick to respond to thank him in an unflirtatious way, wanting to make the most of the opportunity to see if it could lead to sharing the love of the Gospel, though he caught sight of my covenant ring which led him to assume that I was already married (haha). The next morning, I went to another store, and was approached multiple times by a random police officer who eventually gave me his number, insisting if he could take me out for dinner sometime because my looks had so "mesmerized" him in some way. I thanked him and put his card in my purse, and went into my car and laughed out loud for a long time, for the entire experience was so random and hilarious.

But the truth is this: God was directly responding to my heart's questions, and meeting me exactly where I was: doubtful, discouraged, and questioning this waiting season. Though those two experiences I wrote above were indeed amusing, it was also encouraging because God spoke directly to my insecurities and used random men to compliment me, with one asking me out (such a novelty for me)! It was not the men themselves that I look at, but the reality that it was indeed the Lord who used them to notice me. In fact, it leaves me quite humbled because it was such tangible proof of His love for me; my Papa cares and answers. My Papa thinks I am beautiful and captivating and cherishes me enough that He will use strangers to tell me that. Furthermore, because I know that I am in an purposeful season of singleness, it makes me realize again that the purpose of my life is NOT to settle down with the "right" man and that I do NOT have to manipulate my situation or the people in my life in any way to make them conform to my will of what is ideal.

I was also convicted that  I must learn more of  Jesus' Bridegroom heart. Ted Dekker summarizes our history as the "Great Romance," in which God has been pursuing us since the beginning of time, and then even more so when the Fall at the Garden of Eden occurred. I love this phrasing, for I think it is extremely Biblical, though I fail to grasp the significance of it when I only focus as God as my Father/Provider. I have begun praying that I may understand more deeply how my Jesus loves me as part of His bride, and how much He loves His collective bride.

Though I long to be pursued by an earthly man right now, I know that I am already being pursued by the Man, and that my heart has already been claimed by Him. He offers me eternal joy, hope, protection, provision, guidance, and unparalleled love, for true love only comes from Him. I laugh (alot) when I am with Him and being in His presence is overwhelming. My laughter is a sign of surrender and trust. I believe that my God is weaving an unexpected, too-good-to-be-true love story for me, and I do not have to spend excessive emotional or physical energy striving for its fulfillment. I will rejoice whenever that perfect timing comes, but until then, I remain laughing and rejoicing and worshiping because my God is the God of the supernatural, of divine pursuit, and showing up in the most unexpected ways.