Musings

Some random, and not-so-random, thoughts I've been thinking recently:

• Natural births using a midwife may be the best option for me one day...I spent the few days with one of my best friends who is a student midwife at a birthing center and was enlightened to so many things about organic births that radically opened my eyes. I saw crazy cool documentaries about it and met many midwives who were genuinely compassionate, knowledgeable, and passionate about their jobs and the families they serve. Such a contrast between the hospital/birthing center or home and doctor/midwife and the emotions that the women undergo in those two situations. I should expound more on this later!
• I start training tomorrow for the next five days for my new job. Wow. I am excited for sure as I've prayed for this opportunity for the past few months. It's going to be like college all over again as there will be tests I need to pass every day in order to graduate from training and then be allowed to work in the hospitals. Asking Jesus to open my mind to quick thinking, long retention, and joy in the midst of the fast pace. Is it silly of me to start planning the colors of the scrubs I want to purchase and wear (bright colors/pretty pastels)? Haha.
• We must refuse to repay evil for evil. We must absolutely refuse it. I was convicted of this a few weeks ago when I co-lead a youth retreat and the boys pranked us quite successfully (and brutally). My girls, with my approval, stayed up all night planing revenge and carried it out in the wee hours of the morning. It was somewhat humorous when all the boys woke up, but there was also the deflated sense of revenge executed that was not satisfying at all. (Not that what the boys did was "evil," but I know that we shouldn't have repaid them as we did.) Tonight, when a slight incident happened with a rude neighbor, the Spirit kindly reminded me: "refuse to repay evil. Repay them with good."
• Why do I so often forget to REMEMBER the kindnesses of the Lord from the past?? He IS so good. And His timing is so timely, even if I don't agree in the moment. Retrospection brings so much clarity and humility.
• I desire deeper intimacy with the Lord. My relationship with Him absolutely must get deeper, but all the fault lies with me, alas: my lack of discipline, lack of listening, in getting distracted with the things of the world, in serving my idols. Oh Father, thank You for your patience. Jesus, thank You for constantly interceding for me. Spirit, will You please help me listen to You more?
• I realized today that Abba has increased my freedom when I compare the state of my heart and mind now to the beginning of this summer. I laugh because my heart is lighter, my spirit freer....thank You, Jesus!! If I could summarize the lessons learned so far, they are these: Surrender. Submission. Mind Renewal. Letting go of an entitlement mentality.
• My six year old brother is such a delight to me. We discovered a new activity to do together today: He gets on the bed, runs across it, jumps before the edge of it, leaps into my arms, and I spinspinspin him, before putting him back on the bed and doing it all over again. 
• The simultaneous music when everyone in my family laughs together is a magnificent melody that I absolutely cherish above any beautiful song by any esteemed composer.
• I desire for a glimpse of heaven. I want to see Jesus.